A Lost Cause
by Ivythefgt
Summary: You are a well respected soldier in the Survey Corps, and you have been Levi's partner for the better part of four years. You are also pregnant, and soon after the baby comes you retreat from the Scouts and live outside the wall. You knew you were going to return, but not for a while. Everyone, including Levi thinks that you had died. But after 14-15 years you finally return...
1. Chapter 1

You were lying in bed one night. You were very uneasy, and had an unsettling feeling in your stomach. You knew you weren't going to be able to get to sleep anytime soon.

"Hey, (y/n)… What's the matter…?" Your partner of almost four years, Corporal Levi Ackerman asked you. You shook your head, as if it weren't that big a deal.

"Ah, its nothing." You said flatly.

"Now (y/n), I know you better than that. Whenever you're worried about something you don't sleep. Now what's the matter?" He persisted. "Is it because of the expedition tomorrow?" He asked you.

The only expeditions you have ever been worried about were your first five. After that you didn't mind them. Expeditions didn't scare you anymore. Commander Erwin could announce an expedition on some random day that nobody had any idea about and you could care less. It wasn't a big deal to you.

"No. You know I don't get nervous about those things, Levi." You said sitting up, wincing a little from a slight cramp in your stomach. His eyebrows furrowed.

"Then why are you all worried?" He asked.

"I'm not worried. Is it illegal to lay awake at night, to imagine perfect scenarios about life? Because if it was, most people would be in jail." You said. Levi smirked.

"Well, I don't think tonight is an appropriate night to be fantasizing. I don't want you to faint or something outside the walls because you didn't get enough sleep." He told you. You rolled your eyes at his statement.

"Whatever. Goodnight, loser." You said playfully, and turned on your side, pulling the blanket with you. Levi chuckled.

"Goodnight, (y/n)." Levi said. He climbed deeper into the blanket next to you and threw his arm over your waste, his hand landing on the area of your stomach below your belly button. You opened your eyes and frowned a bit, but then you decided that you had to let it go. You closed your eyes gently and let your eyes moisten. You decided that it wasn't important until the expedition is over. You chuckled at an almost inaudible volume.

"What?" Levi asked.

"Oh, nothing…" You said, chuckling once more. You felt excitement, and a sudden want for the expedition to be over.

Less than fifteen hours later, you were on horseback in your green poncho that sported the Wings of Freedom, about to go outside of Wall Maria. You were in front of Hange, and laughing about how much she was getting on Levi's nerves.

"Oh my gosh! Words cannot describe how much I can't wait for this! Oh how cool would it be if we see an aberrant?! Oh Levi, you have to help me catch one!" Hange chimed.

"I am not going to assist you with such a hassle, four eyes." Levi said bluntly. Hange scowled. You giggled quietly, bringing your fingers up to your mouth to muffle the sound. Hange turned around quickly.

"How about you, (y/n)? You can help me capture an abnormal right?" She asked happily. You didn't really want to help her, but you wanted to be kinder than Levi. Unlike him, you liked Hange, and you wanted to be nice to her.

"Uh, no thank you…" You said meekly. Levi looked back at you with a look that screamed "What. On. Earth. Was. That." You smiled slightly and shrugged in response. He cocked an eyebrow at you and turned back around. You wondered how you even got through to Levi. You were always quiet and shy when you were around a lot of people. You used to be downright silent, rarely talking at all. But you eventually grew out of that and started talking.

Eventually you heard the loud, booming voice of Commander Erwin.

"Thirty seconds until gates are opening!" He yelled. You began squirming around, shaking your legs mildly. It always felt like the thirty seconds before we start last for hours.

"Three!" You stood up straight.

"Two!" You grabbed the reigns.

"One!"

"Hyah! Come on, Lilith!" You yelled, slapping the horse's skin lightly with the reigns. She bucked, and proceeded to run out of the gates with the rest of the Scouts. You took a deep breath as you made your way outside the wall. The air was fresher, and a lot less cloudy than the air inside the walls. This is why to an extent you liked expeditions. It smelled a lot better outside, that, and you just felt so free, like a huge weight was lifted off your shoulders, like you could jump really high or fly. The sun was brighter, and it's like you weighed less. It just felt right, amazing. Sometimes you wished that you could ditch the whole scene, and just live outside the wall, and live off the land like a scavenger. You could avoid the titans easily. You were light on your feet and quite agile. You have thought about doing it several times but you know it would never happen. It was just another perfect scenario you created before bed one night.

You were enjoying the scenery, enjoying the quiet. But you do know that the quiet was only going to last a short time, as it always happened before a titan appeared. You sighed, hoping that the bliss would last just a little while longer. You hoped that this expedition would be short. You hoped that you would return behind the walls in a matter of a couple hours. You were getting quite impatient, and just wanted this to be over with already. Even though you were a part of the front lines, there were some times that you were just incredibly lazy. This was one of those times. But you just have to get over it and suck it up.

You and the other Scouts were riding into the outside pretty slowly, and you were just going along with the flow so far. Just then an alert Levi had caught up next to you. You didn't even have any idea that you had gotten ahead of him. You really need to start paying attention more.

"Someone's being awfully quiet today." He said, catching your attention.

"Oh…. yeah." You said, having a lack of better things to say. You didn't even look over at him.

"Hey." He said coarsely. He brought his pale hand over and brushed the (h/c) locks out of your face. You looked at him with a bored face. He looked a little worried.

"Okay (y/n), spill it. What is up." He said. More like he demanded. You were being a little more distant than usual. You shrugged.

"Nothings up. Why?" You said quietly.

"What's up is that it's been thirty minutes since we've been outside the wall and you haven't said a word. What is up?" He said sternly. You didn't want to tell him so you simply shrugged.

"I assure you Levi, I am fine. I'm just tired…. That's it. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night remember? That's probably all. You said.

"Tch." He said. You guessed that he just gave up on trying to get it out of you. He remained beside you.

"It's strange… It's been over half an hour and we still haven't seen any titans yet." He said.

"Maybe they're all next to each other in somewhere specific." You suggested.

"Maybe… but what would be going on there to attract a bunch of titans? We have never gone this long on an expedition without seeing one." Levi said. He was a bit confused. You honestly didn't really care that no titans were spotted yet. Secretly you were a little ecstatic. You shrugged.

"Well, maybe we should just enjoy the quiet for a while. Just enjoy the time that we are spending outside the walls without being slaughtered. You shouldn't get so worked up over it." You said. His eyebrows furrowed.

"Tch." When he made that noise it pissed you off a bit. You sighed, giving up.

_If anyone, he should be glad. No titans means there isn't any titan blood all over the place once someone kills them._ You thought, chuckling to yourself. You always thought his whole cleaning thing was funny. When someone gave him an attitude, all he did was make him or her clean something. It was a pretty good weapon. But on the downside however, as you have been involved with him your cleanliness standards have been raised pretty high, so you were kind of a clean freak too.

Suddenly your entire squad hears a loud noise. You look into the air.

"Red flare! A titan has been spotted!" Petra, another girl in the squad, had shouted.

"Finally!" You heard Levi mutter under his breath.

"Pft." You said. Levi didn't hear you though. He was too busy directing the squad where to go. Suddenly, the titan that was spotted had made its way over to where your squad was.

_How on earth did it get here so fast? The flare came from way over there…_ You thought. The titan stopped right in front of you. All of a sudden you couldn't move, and it was almost as if you were having a staring contest with the titan.

You couldn't move, and you couldn't breathe. You almost wanted to cry.

_Oh. _

He then picked you up with an iron grip on you, crushing a few of your ribs and squeezing all of the air out of your lungs. You couldn't breath at all. You still didn't move.

_O h. _

Just as you closed your eyes, accepting your inevitable death, you heard the titan holding you roar. It was so loud and so high pitched it was almost like it was screaming. Your eyes snapped open.

The titan was wobbling, and you saw Levi on the titans neck, with his blade covered in salty, crimson blood. He quickly used his 3DMG and swooped in, and slicing the titans fingers off, freeing you of his grasp. Once you both reached the ground he laid you down, examining your injuries. You were so tired. Either tired or in shock. Air returning to your lungs, your eyes started to droop. Levi, not sure if you were passing out or dying, was yelling to try and keep you awake.

"(y/n)! (y/n) stay with me….. " Was all you heard before blacking out.

You woke up in a white room. The light wasn't very bright.

_Am I in the in the infirmary? What happened to the expedition? _You thought. You sat up, and felt a sharp pain in your torso area. You looked down and saw that your torso was heavily bandaged.

_What happened to me? I can't remember…_

You looked under the bandages and saw that your torso was bruised. Your mouth was open in complete awe and confusion as you tried to remember what happened at the expedition.

_No… I never get injured at these things… _

You leaned back, experiencing a nauseating cramp in your stomach as well as the pain in your torso. You wished someone were here to explain to you what happened before you blacked out. Just then, as if the gods were reading your mind, Levi walked through the door.

"Thank God you're here!" You said as loud as you could, being in all that pain.

"Thank God you're awake!" He said, embracing you in a hug and kissing your lips tenderly.

"What exactly happened on the expedition? I never get hurt on expeditions." You asked him.

"The first titan that was spotted took an unexpected path towards us. He picked you up and was about to devour you; luckily I killed him just in time. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be able to live with myself." He said, embracing you tightly. The pain in your torso returned with his embrace.

"Uhm, Levi," You said. He loosened up immediately.

"Oh, right." He said, rubbing the back of his neck.

You had run out of words to say. Part of you really wanted to tell him what was going on with you, but another part wanted to wait until later tonight or possibly tomorrow, once you've gotten a little more rest and the whole trauma of the expedition blows over. Instead, you said something else.

"When happened with the rest of the expedition? Why are you back so early?" You asked him.

"Well, after I killed the titan that hurt you and we applied immediate first aid, we didn't see any other titans, and we stayed out there for at least two and a half hours." He said.

"And you didn't even see /one/ titan?" You asked, dumbfounded.

"Nope. So Erwin just decided to call it all off. Nobody was killed or injured, except for you." He said. That made you feel like an idiot. You, the one person that usually comes out of those expeditions without a scratch on you, was the only person who was injured today. You felt your face heat up at the embarrassment. Levi saw this and sat next to you on your bed, and wrapped his arm around you gently.

"Its okay… You're okay, the doctor says that your bones are going to knit back together in a period of a couple weeks. You should be back to normal then." He said, arms around you. He kissed your forehead.

Just then you got another nauseating cramp in your stomach. This time it was more intense than the first one. It caused your throat to open up, and the taste of iron ran through your mouth, confirming that you were about to vomit. You clutched your hand to your stomach.

"(y/n)… are you alright? Do I need to get the doctor back…?" He asked. You shook your head, looking at the trashcan in front of you.

"No, I'm fine…" You said. You belched a little in your mouth. It tasted like metal.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yeah I'm su-" You started. But then you couldn't hold the vomit in you any longer. You stood up, leaned over the trashcan and threw up. Levi rushed to your side quickly with a panicky look on his face.

"(y/n), you obviously aren't okay. You must be sick." He said, rubbing your back, comforting you.

You were still leaned over the trashcan, hands on the rims. You were scared. Scared mainly because you didn't want to tell anyone yet. But, I guess you'd have to do it sooner or later.

"Hey! (y/n)! Can you hear me?" Levi asked, snapping his fingers in your face. You nodded, and your lip quivered.

"Uhm, Levi, can I talk to you?" You asked him quietly.

"Of course, (y/n)." He responded, sitting back on the bed. You sat down next to him and he wrapped one arm around your shoulder as you prepared yourself.

"Uhm well, you see, this is really complicated and stuff, and I was gonna tell you earlier but we had the expedition and stuff and-" Levi cut you off.

"Cut to the chase." He said simply. You couldn't hold it in you anymore when he said that. Like a dam with cracks simply waiting to break.

"Levi, I'm pregnant."

**_Hey guys! I hope you liked chapter one of my new story, A Lost Cause! This is going to be my seventh story on Wattpad, and my first story on both deviantArt and _****_J_******

**_Yeah I don't really know how having a child is going to work out in the Survey Corps, but I have the whole rest of the plot planned out and I think its going to be a really good story so you'll just have to wait and see! _**

**_Thanks for reading! I'll update whenever I can and I hope you enjoyed! I'd also love some feedback! _**

**_ILY GUYS! 33 Keep reading! _**

**_-Ivy_**


	2. Chapter 2

A Lost Cause chapter two

_**Okay, so I understand that in the last chapter Levi was a little out of character. But no more! I'm going to give him the emotion and personality of how he is in the English dub. To be honest, Levi in the Japanese version kinda scares me because he's almost just completely deadpan. So… enjoy! **_

_**And btw this story is going to have a lot of content in Levi's POV and a lot of flashbacks to when you were a cadet. Just a heads up. Happy reading! **_____

Levi just stood there. With a blank expression on his face and no emotion in his grey eyes. It was scaring you a little. Was he mad at you? He shouldn't be. It's not necessarily your fault.

"Uh… Levi?" You asked him quietly. He was silent. Not even looking at you. You were nervous.

"Levi. Hey. Talk to me." You said, snapping in his face. He stood up and sighed.

"I need a minute." He said, and walked out of the room.

_You have got to be kidding me…_ You thought. You didn't want him to be pissed off. Because first of all, you were a little happy that you were pregnant. You thought that it wasn't wrong to have a child, even though it was going to be a little difficult since you both were important people in the Survey Corps, but you could make it work somehow… right? And second, _it wasn't your fault._

_**Levi's POV **_

I walked out of the infirmary, leaving (y/n) there. I couldn't believe that she was pregnant. I didn't want her to be pregnant. We barely even have enough time to ourselves. How could we have time to raise a child? If we were in any other situation, I would be ecstatic. I wouldn't show it of course, but that doesn't mean that I'm not. But we are in the Scout Regiment. One or both of us could die at any point in time. Then the child will have no family. I don't want that. Especially since I had to deal with it.

As I was walking in the hallway back towards my office, Hange was walking my way.

_No. Do not talk to me. Do not think about talking to me. Do not even look at me. _I thought. I did not want to talk to her. Especially not now. I had my own matters to deal with.

"Hey Levi!" She said quite loudly.

_Great. Just great. _

"How's (y/n) doing? She took a pretty bad fall." Hange said.

_She didn't fall. You weren't even with my squad. Stop talking. _

"She's fine." I said. More like mumbled.

"Hmm… You don't seem too upset about that…." She said condescendingly. That pissed me off. Of course I was upset, but I said that she was fine. I clenched my fists and fought back the urge to connect my hand to her face.

"She is fine Hange. Why would I worry if she's fine." I said in a deadpan tone. She was really starting to make me mad. She raised her hands in defense.

"Sorry, I'm just saying." She said. I rolled my eyes as I was unlocking my office door.

"Tch." She walked into the infirmary to see (y/n), leaving me alone in the hallway. I breathed out a heavy sigh that I was unaware that I was keeping in as she left.

I walked into the office, and opened the curtains. The sunrays beamed through the window, leaving a very visible trail of dust particles. I made a face of disgust.

"Great." I mumbled. I closed the curtains, feeling unusually unmotivated to clean the filthiness of the room. I sat down at my desk, and just stared at it, not even thinking about anything. I didn't even know why I was so upset. I wasn't really mad at (y/n) for being pregnant, as it wasn't necessarily her fault. I actually had no idea. I stared at my desk, thinking of nothing in particular. I didn't even know why I was so upset. With gritted teeth, I rubbed my temples, trying to soothe the impending headache.

_I remember that (y/n) used to get a lot of headaches…_ I thought.

(Flashback)

_I was watching the rookies that had just joined the Scout Regiment train. They were training for a test that Commander Erwin had given to basically see everything they know, strong points and weak points, and all that. _

'_I really do not want to watch these brats. I'll be damned if I don't end up vomiting due to watching these idiots and their horrid skills.' I thought. I was just getting angrier and angrier by the minute. _

_Just then, a whole group of kids in their late teens were gliding through the woods on 3DMGs. It wasn't until almost all of them were out of sight that a few actually caught my attention. _

"_Come on, (y/n)! You can do it!" Someone said. I moved my eyes toward where the voice was coming from._

"_She's right, (y/n), you gotta push through the pain!" A male voice added. I turned to face them. _

_I knew all about (y/n). She was a quiet, yet determined girl, very good cadet, but had a bad tendency of pissing me off on a daily basis. It was almost a little funny. Yelling at her had no effect on her whatsoever, so I made her clean extra. She would say something wrong, I would catch her, I wouldn't get mad, I would just make her clean. But somehow she never learned from it. Sometimes after a long day of cleaning I would walk by her room and hear her yelling. I really pushed her. And I could tell she really didn't like me._

"_I know I know, but it just hurts so much!" I heard (y/n) say in a tiny voice, and anyone could tell she had been crying. I looked at her, her eyes were red and puffy, and she was clutching her hand to her head. She was starting to piss me off even more than I already was. I knew it wasn't her fault, but this was her sixth headache in a row and I didn't have time for this. I walked over to her with my eyebrows in an involuntary furrow. _

"_Come on cadet (l/n)! What the hell is wrong with you? I don't have all day." I snapped at her. " _

"_Corporal… it's my head…" She complained, hand still on her head, trying her hardest not to cry in front of me. I know that she wasn't faking it, I could see the pain clear as day in her (e/c) orbs. _

"_Tch." I grabbed her by the wrist and looked into her eyes. The pain in her eyes suddenly mixed with fear, as she tensed up. I sighed and started dragging her to base by the wrist. (y/n) started to panic. _

"_Uhh.. Corporal…? Where are we going?" She asked, shakiness in her voice. I sighed once more. _

"_Where do you think? I'm taking you back to the base so you can see a doctor." I said coldly. She looked confused. _

"_Why?" She asked. _

"_Don't think I haven't been noticing your headaches. You've been having too many and I don't need a soldier not being able to fight because of something as pathetic as a headache. And I told you. Call me by my first name when we aren't in front of our comrades." I said sternly. She looked nervous. _

"_Yes Levi…" She said so quietly I could barely hear her. _

"_Tch."  
><em>

_We made it back to the base and I took her to the infirmary to try to understand what's wrong with her. Turns out she was near sighted, and desperately needed aided vision. I was confused. Nevertheless irritated._

"_If your vision was blurry then why the hell didn't you say something in the first place?" I asked in an annoyed tone. _

"_I don't know.." She said in a small voice. I sighed. _

"_So are you going to give her a prescription or not?" I asked, wanting to leave. I could tell that (y/n) wanted to leave too. She didn't look too happy. _

"_Yes, I was just getting to that. Stay here, I'll be back in a few minutes." The doctor told us. Then she left us alone. As soon as she left, (y/n) looked to the ground and crossed her arms. She looked a little sad. I didn't really care, however I acknowledged it. _

"_How's your head." I asked her more in the form of a statement. _

"_Alright." She mumbled. _

"_Tch." _

_After about ten minutes the doctor finally came back. _

"_Here you go, (y/n)." She said, holding a pair of black plastic glasses out to her. "Try these on. You should be able to notice a significant difference." (y/n) took the glasses and placed them over her (e/c) eyes. Her eyes widened. _

"_Whoa." She said. I mentally chuckled to myself. _

"_Can you see?" She asked. _

"_Yeah… I can see." _

"_Not blurry at all?"  
><em>

"_Nope." _

"_Well good." The doctor said and smiled. I rolled my eyes. About five minutes later, (y/n) and I were walking out of the infirmary, (y/n) wearing the glasses. The doctor had instructed her to wear them all of the time, with the exception of sleeping and showering. _

"_How's your head now." I stated. _

"_Better." She said. She started to follow me back outside where the training was taking place. _

"_Where do you think you're going?" I asked her sternly. _

"_Uh, back outside to train?" She said, with a little attitude in her voice. _

"_Watch your tone." I hissed. _

"_And you're not going back outside to train. You're going to stay inside the base and you're going to clean the mess hall." I said. _

"_But-" She interjected. _

"_No." I said simply. "You need to pace yourself with movement today, so we can be sure that your headache doesn't come back. Like I said earlier, I don't need you not being able to fight because of a headache." I said. _

_She "tched" her tongue, and started to walk in the opposite direction from me. _

"_What was that?" I asked her. She was not going to survive with this attitude problem of hers. _

"_Nothing, Corporal." She said. I smirked as I watched her go toward the supply closet for cleaning supplies. _

Just then an ecstatic Hange, bursting into my office without even knocking, pulled me out of my flashback.

"Levi did you hear?" She asked with the creepiest smile on her face, ever. I couldn't get madder.

"What the hell do you want, four-eyes? And why the hell are you bursting in here without knocking?!" I asked her, clenching my fists on the table.

"Oh! I almost forgot!" She then exited my room, and knocked on the door before entering again. I let out a frustrated breath and rubbed my temples some more.

"What exactly do you want? Get out and leave me alone." I said, annoyed. She rolled her eyes at me.

"Did you hear the news, Levi?" She asked.

"I think I may have…" I mumbled under my breath. I really didn't want to talk about this at the moment. Especially not with Hange.

"What was that?" She asked. I couldn't put up with this anymore. I needed this madness to end now. I got up from my chair and walked over to Hange. I picked her up by the collar of her shirt and raised her face to see mine. I looked into her eyes and tried to be as intimidating as possible.

"Leave me alone. I do not want to talk to you right now. Now get out." I hissed, pointing at the door. Hange frowned, and walked toward it.

"Well fine, Mr Grumpy." She said, walking out of the door.

I sat back at my desk and sighed.

_What the hell am I going to do about this?_


End file.
